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Learning to be a Mom in 6 weeks...
My life partner and I have been together for almost 9 years. Neither of us have any children other than our 9 four legged ones that we just adore. This summer that all changed for us. The peace and quiet we once knew was all but gone for 5+ weeks. Let me tell you how it all started. Three years ago my partner, Peggy, had her now 21 year old niece come live with us for the summers and work at one of her stores. Adjusting to that is another story for another time. Jess arrived in mid April right after classes ended in St John's Newfoundland. We went though the ususal regetting to know each other and settling in and everything was going pretty good. She would work out in the yard with Peggy and go shopping with me. Nice balance. In May, my niece who lives here in GA and her longtime boyfriend broke up. My niece is beautiful, a very beautiful drama queen whom the world revoles around at the age of 31...no where to go, what are loving Aunts to do. Her heart broken, her spirit down, her beautiful home torn from her grip. Okay, his home torn from her hands, his money, his ski trips, his dog, his, um, money.... you get the picture. Okay, under a few conditions,yes she can stay here. One, thearpy, a must, two; if she gets between my partner and me, she will have to move out; three, keep her cats' box clean and the cats fed! Now how old is she again, whose been doing this all these years? The Cats? End of May, my 13 year old niece is coming to spend 6 wonderful weeks with us, something we have been planning for over a year. You just can't tell a 13 year old, sorry but your self centered cousin's boyfriend couldn't take it anymore and so you can't come visit. Whew...the stress, the mess. What was I thinking when I said, yes, yes and yes! Four legged children really don't sass you, they do tend to have little jealous fights now and then and sometimes need your constant attention. They make little puddles on the floor sometimes when they miss the paper, but it only takes a mop to clean it up and then it's life as usual. My life as I knew it was over... my partner was lucky to be opening a new store in NC. How nice for her, home only on weekends, wasn't that just special? She's the one everyone has the respect for, the fear of god for, me, they just pout, give dirty looks to or just leave the room while I sit there with my mouth open. So, this is what I have learned in six of the longest weeks of my life... I am a sounding board, I give advise that is not taken unless it has be verified by at least 3 other people deemed more knowledgable than me. I don't have stress, what do I have to be stressed about, it's all about "me" "me" and "me", what was I thinking, I couldn't possibly have a "bad" day, they need me. Mom, why didn't you explain to me how to divide my time equally between 3 girls, shave my legs, not for 6 weeks, get my eyebrows waxed, nope, no way, no how. Okay, so it's not all bad, my 13 year old niece taught me a few things while she was here. Like, it's okay to watch kid shows and laugh and eat ice cream at midnight. I will be missing her and hope she comes back next summer. Jess is still here, her Mom and SIL are coming next week for a vacation here. So lose one little women and get 2 more. I'm not sure if I am supposed to be the entertainer while Jess works or I just let em loose. St John's Newfoundland, Atlanta GA, huh, a little bit of different enviroment and they don't say "aye" in St John's, that's on the West side of Canada, not on the "Rock"! Jess works out everyday, and I mean works out! That's great, good for her, but at 52, with a double mastectomy, I am really tired of hearing about it. Look, I have eyes, I can see that she is now a size 10 instead of a size 14. Did I mention she also plays volley ball a few nights a week...eeegads.... where's the chocolate ice cream with hot fudge and real whipped cream... oh yeah, I was saying what I have learned...to let them know when I don't want to hear it anymore. Let's just talk about regular stuff once in awhile. My oldest niece will be with us for the duration, what kind of time is that, who knows, but she is in thearpy and has good days and bad ones. She seems to be actually seeing some of the things that have causes her so much pain and others as well. So I listen with undivided attention, I hug, I hope I give enough love that they can feel it and see it in my eyes. And That I can be a great Aunt by being honest and telling them as nicely as possible that the world does not, that's "DOES NOT" entirely revolve around them and all their problems and maybe that is why they can't keep relationships for very long, we regular folks want to feel special once in awhile too, want to know that someone is listening to us and not trying to "out do" our bad day. All in all it has been a big learning lesson for myself and on the weekends, my partner. And yes I would and probably will do it again and again, between us we have 14 nieces and nephews so it surely will keep us on our toes, I hope, until we are very old and gray! |
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